Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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