she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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