Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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