Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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