Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Enjoy the penises
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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