it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
