I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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