it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
