I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
