I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize