Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
