I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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