Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
