so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
