No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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