I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize