Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
