remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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