You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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