Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
