Christians are straight up FREAKS
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
