Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
