Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
