she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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