Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Your penis caused this!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
