I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
