If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize