Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
