I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
