This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
