Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
