So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
