Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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