Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Please don't give away my fajitas
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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