is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize