I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
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