you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize