Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
