Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just want to make out with him forever
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
