You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
