pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
