one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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