I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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