i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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