and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
