i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
