so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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