If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
