It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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