I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
