the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I see more hoeing in ur future
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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