The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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