we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
