Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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