Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
