We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
