We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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