I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
