found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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