im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize