What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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