How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
