I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
