it's like iHOP with fire
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
