Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Can I color on your dick again?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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