so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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